summer holiday

once in awhile, i feel like updating the half dead blog. but sometimes i dont really want to. no idea why. *totally random but i just feel like writing it out*

summer break is here and results are out. its wat i expected.. as usual.. nothing spectacular.. no H1s and H2s.. but its alright i guess.. i should be excited since i no longer need to study any science related subjects.. phew~ bye bye science helu arts~

words aint really coming out from my brain.. maybe its the time.. or maybe my inner voice is telling me not to broadcast everything to the world..i dunno.. lately i've been doing a lot of soul searching.. but i cant seem to find myself yet..frens are graduating starting tomorrow.. interning in big companies.. some are getting engaged and one is already married.. at the age of 21..talk about accomplishments.. as for me.. i'm still bumming around.. spending my dad's money which is wonderful.. XD but yeah.. seems hard to imagine myself in the future..

the question i always ask myself nowadays is what am i good at? frankly i dont know.. do tell..

this is such a random post.. with random thoughts..

but at least i'm sharing.. and u'll know what really goes behind my brain..

and yes.. i love to look at designer goods..whether i can afford or not is my problem or rather my dad's problem..but i'm atypical.. i aint typical.. i dont fancy sports for one.. but i reckon i need to soon.. i should get inspired by uncle K.. Karl Lagerfeld for those who dont know.. he was a fat arse and because he wanted to wear a particular designer's piece he had a major transformation..marc jacobs was geeky and out of shape too.. but now he looks great.. with or without his hermes bag and men skirt..

i have major mood swings.. sometimes i wake up feeling like shit.. sometimes i'm happy.. sometimes i laugh.. and sometimes i get really emo.. i dont like what i see in the mirror.. i dont really see the mirror that often.. i only use the mirror when i'm in the bathroom.. even tho i sleep next to two HUGE mirror as they act as doors for my closet.. i dont use them.. i ignore them somehow..

i do more window shopping than actually buying the product.. clothes and pants are like my enemies.. i cant fit into most of the things.. its depressing.. and instead of trying to fit into it by exercising.. i eat more.. the easy way out.. why fight it.. might as well join it.. *do u feel the negativity aura* hmm.. i dont know.. i'm not inspired..

whine and whine that's all i do..

but this is the real me..
behind all the gucci and louis vuitton..
i'm still searching