Everytime before my results are released I feel a little anxious, a little worried. I fear of failing a subject. Those feelings did not hit me this semester. I was confident of not failing. Extremely confident I would say. And to prove it I did not. But I was not satisfied at all. I felt betrayed. I was disappointed. I could not believe those numbers and alphabets written next to my subjects. I was utterly shocked and felt so lost. is this a joke or some kind of mistake?
I dare say, this semester was not like any other semesters. I worked my ass off. I worked so much harder than any other exams I took in my entire life. But the pay off was not worth it at all. Could it be my method of studying is incorrect? I studied my notes/I attended my lectures and tutorials/I re-listen to lectures I could not understand/I did past papers. What possible method is there left. If somebody know please enlighten me.
Maybe my mental capability or capacity is retarded. Or maybe its just me. Maybe I just have to accept that I will never be able to score. Just average. Nothing spectacular. Backtracking all my major exams since young, I never aced anything anyway. It's always not enough, never is, never will.
It frustrates me as results are everything not the process of learning. It pisses me off as others complained not studying enough but always do better than me. It saddens me as I tried very hard but it makes no difference.
Did I choose the wrong course from the start? Was it a mistake not enrolling to a pure arts degree when I first thought about it?

Totally disappointed.