defeated

why do i have the feeling that i'm not suppose to do what i'm doing

i feel so defeated

i'm so tired getting a PASS in everything i do
doesnt matter how much effort i put in
it always seems to limit me within the PASS zone and not beyond
i betrayed myself for telling me i can do better
in reality i cant no matter how hard i try
its just so hard
maybe i should just stop trying
accept the fact and pass all the way
feeling like a loser
still thinking if i have a chance in getting honours in development studies
so unreal.

nothing is excellent
its always just satisfactory
so why try harder
if the outcome is the same?