it's Mughni's birthday tomolo..gonna have a party at the club today at 10..ARGH..should i go? i dun really know that guy cause i only say hi and bye to him seldom chit chat >.< seriously i prefer shopping watch movie hang out with close frens tend go to clubs..ppl tend to misunderstand or think differently..why must everyone do the same thing? why i cant spend my money on clothes shoes gadgets instead? why must i spent it on drinks...smokes or crap?cant guys shop? what is the problem? are u jealous because u cant buy stuff u wan? well i'm sorry then..sigh..
havent eaten dinner yet..i'm hungry tho..but dun really wanna eat..i just miss my frens..they seem so busy as usual..and i feel bad bothering them..it's not the same in high school..nowadays ppl have their own relationship..like love life..their studies..their everything..frens only plays a minor role..MAYBE i'm wrong..but look around urself..who was there when u were in trouble? or gf or bf? or ur frens? even ur family? CHOOSE? all my trinity frens seem to be talking about studies..ARGH..where are those ppl who takes me for who i am? GONE!
trying to be an individual strong person is not easy..to find a trinity person to describe me with one word? it will be either be RICH or LOSER...i'm not the same person i used to be..i laugh less talk less cry more..somehow ppl dun understand..because i went back with bussiness class with mummy and many many trinity students saw and they started to tell ppl i'm rich..GOSH..u're in trinity too..isnt it the same? i dun go club i dun have many close frens..i dun go out on friday i dun go dinner with frens doesnt mean i'm a loser
why cant i be normal like everyone else..seriously i just feel like going home everyday..i never wanted to come at the first place..but it's a golden chance to study abroad because not many ppl can go oversea and get a good education..being me..it's so much pressure because ppl dun study and get high marks..or they are just brilliant are score really high..i tried..i really do..i'm always consider average..why? i wanna be top..
it's such a hard life studying in trinity..so many ppl change intakes because they are not doing well..should i?wat to do..college is passing really fast..which i really hope..then it's time for holiday again..ppl say college is fun..u go clubbing go meet girls..go do this do that..freedom and shit..ARGH! is it? really? are u sure?
i'm at my breaking point now...and i really dont know wat to do..i'm not going to the party anyway may as well stay home eat yogurt..
2 comments:
hey dessie or desmond >.<...read ur last bloggie post! i'm sure u r not the only one who feels like that! cuz i've once felt like that too...seriously what is so great about going clubbing, drinking, getting drunking, getting hooked up wif a gurl and a month later breakign up wif the gurl...u just have to stay strong and be who u r! we dun have to follow the crowd! sometimes it's just really hard to find true frenz! frenz who will be there when u need them n those whom u can talk to about anything at all...but be patient my friend =D these things take time..sometimes its a matter of months, and even years! n in college, studies get bit tough..tough competition wif everyone else!but we dun have to be the top student!just be the best u can be and that's all it matters! i know all these sound really cliched but it's very true! for me, social support is probably the only thing which got me through uni so far! and i'm loving every moment of it :P ur time will come soon ! hope u enjoy college..n best of luck in all ur exams! take care
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